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“Huh?”

  “She didn’t know. And she didn’t know about me and you. I wasn’t going to tell her because I knew she wouldn’t like it, but I thought I should be honest.”

  “Better late than never. I need you to go. I can’t do this now. You figure out how to fix this. Make up or break up. Just leave me out of it.”

  I turned to the sink to pour my coffee down the drain.

  “Eric…”

  He was far too good at telling shades of the truth. I needed some distance before he involved me in something and let me think I could fix it when it went south. “I want to be alone, Nick. Go.”

  Zane showed up at my place a couple hours after Nick left, wearing a black V-neck sweater, ripped jeans, a Giants baseball cap and a shit-eating grin that made me forget my name. It went a long way toward helping me forget about Nick’s visit or the possibility of grappling with an awkward day-after blowjob conversation. I gave him a thorough once-over before lifting my gaze to his lovely eyes.

  “Um…hey. Come on in.”

  Zane stepped inside but when I moved toward the stairs he tugged my hand.

  “Wait.”

  My heart was in my throat when I turned around. We didn’t say a word. I wasn’t sure I was actually breathing. But I couldn’t look away if I tried. He was hypnotic. There was something incredible about seeing someone you’ve known for years in a different light. The thrill of a new lover who happened to be someone I knew well was electrifying and comforting at once. However, there was no denying the element of danger, too. I adored my friend. I didn’t want to screw that relationship up no matter how much I wanted him naked now and as quickly as possible.

  I licked my lips and moved toward him. “Are you hungry?”

  “Are you?” Zane reached to brush my hair from my eyes.

  I leaned into his touch with a small moan that should have mortified me.

  “No. I—”

  Oh, fuck it. I flew at him with enough momentum to knock him backward a few steps. Zane caught himself before he hit the wall and quickly switched positions with me. Then he raised my hands above my head and covered my mouth. It was just a kiss, I told myself. Not a big deal. But when he shoved his tongue down my throat and ground his hips against mine rational thought wasn’t possible. It wasn’t long before sucking and licking and grinding through layers of clothing was more frustrating than sexy.

  I bit his bottom lip then pointed toward the stairs. “Bed.”

  Zane wordlessly followed me up the stairs, down a wide hallway lit with skylights and into the master bedroom. He didn’t stop to comment on the two coffee cups on the island or the bagels I hadn’t put away and I didn’t give myself the chance to worry about whether or not this was smart. It felt right and for now, that was good enough.

  We drew the blinds, shucked off our clothing and fell into bed. Fevered kisses accompanied manic stroking, humping and sucking. Our skin glistened with sweat and precum as we moved against each other in a race toward passionate release that left me reeling in its aftermath.

  When my heart rate slowed to normal I worried my anxiety would return with a vengeance. It didn’t. It was easier than I would have imagined to get lost in the breezy feeling of lying in bed on a Sunday afternoon with a lover. I wanted to float in this peaceful space and enjoy the moment. Zane Richards was naked beside me…and fuck, it was a beautiful thing.

  “You’re gawking at my junk,” he commented idly as he slid his hand down my chest, smearing cum into the light trail of hair under my belly button.

  “Sorry. It’s impressive. Not too big, not—”

  “Hey!” he glowered, tweaking my right nipple.

  I chuckled as I swatted his hand away. “I wasn’t finished. I was going to say…it’s perfect. But that sounds like a really fucking strange thing to say to your friend.”

  “I don’t mind,” he said softly.

  “You don’t?”

  “No.”

  We studied each other in silence. I finally decided it was up to me to start the uncomfortable “we’re naked in bed, covered in cum” chat.

  “What now?”

  Zane gave me an over-the-top lascivious smirk then slid his leg between mine and smacked my ass. “I’ve got ideas.”

  I moaned appreciatively and licked a path along his Adam’s apple. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “I know. Well…I am hungry now. Let’s grab lunch and—”

  “That’s not what I meant either.”

  “I know.”

  “You’re pissing me off,” I said in a flat tone. I fell back on my pillow with a dramatic sigh and closed my eyes.

  Zane snickered then singsonged my name a couple times. When I refused to look at him, he crawled on top of me and pinned my arms over my head. He was sinewy and strong. There was no way I could move him without putting up a fight. I tried and got nowhere fast.

  “We can do this all night.” His tone was teasing but I was getting hard again and as my senses heightened, I realized there was no point in putting off the inevitable.

  “I surrender.”

  “I don’t believe you.” His longish hair fell over his right eye when he squinted at me.

  “Pinky promise,” I offered.

  “I’d have to release you to make that happen. I’m not sure you can be trusted.”

  “Zane.”

  “All right, all right.” He grabbed my pinky finger and squeezed it before flopping to his side. He propped himself on his elbow and reached out to tilt my chin toward him. “We aren’t doing anything wrong.”

  “You said that last night, too. But you know it’s not that simple. We’ve known each other since high school.”

  “Dude, no offense, but I wouldn’t have been able to pick you out of a lineup in high school. We didn’t really know each other until college. But the truth is…I’ve had a thing for you for a while.”

  “Me?”

  Zane scoffed. “For a smart guy, you’re pretty obtuse, Er. I took a chance last night when I kissed you and—”

  “We more than kissed.”

  “And it was awesome. No regrets. I didn’t plan this, but I’m not sorry.”

  I gulped. “Me either. But the guys are gonna freak. Josh was giving me funny looks last night and Nick was—”

  “This isn’t their business. We aren’t kids. We’re thirty fucking years old. We don’t need anyone’s permission.”

  “I don’t want to tell them,” I blurted.

  A flash of hurt flitted across Zane’s face but he hid it quickly with a nonchalant shrug. “I wasn’t planning on buying billboard space. Let’s just let things flow naturally. No major commitments required. But we might want to give them a heads up if you’re thinking of proposing by the time Nick and Lisa tie the knot.” He waggled his eyebrows playfully. When I didn’t laugh, he shook his head in mock dismay. “We’ve got to work on your sense of humor, Schuster. It was a joke. Come on. Let’s find some grub. I’m starving.”

  Zane leaned in to kiss my forehead before rolling out of bed. I kept my gaze locked on his pert ass as he moved toward the bathroom. Now was the time to tell him about Nick’s visit this morning. Every step was a missed opportunity. Or maybe it wasn’t. Zane and I were doing our own thing. Nick’s drama was his to deal with alone. I wasn’t going to get involved and I wasn’t going to let it interfere with Zane and me. I liked us. Maybe we were improbable, but something told me we were promising, too.

  Chapter 5

  And so I began dating my best friend. Actually dating. Or courting or whatever old fashioned term best fits the scenario where a man asks another to dinner or the movies. Sure, there was sex involved. Hell, a night might begin with a spine-tingling blow job and end with a hand job or just a feverish press of skin on skin where Zane slipped his fingers inside me and nudged his leaking prick against my hole. I wanted him to go for it. I wanted all of him, but I was leery of going too fast. For now, this sweet, romantic dance was perfect.

  We’d sit for hours bath
ed in candlelight talking about anything and nothing much at all. Topics we’d probably covered multiple times in the past suddenly seemed brand new. I wanted to know everything about him. When he sat across from me eating pie while claiming he’d rather have Rocky Road ice cream, I was grossed out for sure, but I had to know why. In detail.

  “Because it’s got everything…chocolate, marshmallows, nuts,” he said with a shrug. “And I’m pretty sure you knew it was my favorite. Want a bite?”

  Zane gestured his fork toward the slice of pecan pie on his plate. Autumn brought cooler temperatures, rainy days, and pumpkin and butternut squash on nearly every menu in the city. And occasionally, the dreaded pecan pie.

  “God no! I hate pecans and waln—”

  “Walnuts,” he finished. “I know. More for me. You’re a weird one, Eric. You don’t dislike nuts—you just like ’em chopped precisely before you’ll consume them. Baby slivers are fine, but a giant rogue pecan is an affront to your sensibilities.”

  I chuckled good-naturedly at the teasing snooty affectation in his tone. “Exactly! Look at it this way…I love going to the beach but I don’t have any interest in surfing.”

  Zane narrowed his eyes and gave me a “What the fuck?” look that made me glad I hadn’t gulped my wine or he’d be wearing it. “That makes no sense. All it means is you haven’t tried or been properly taught, but don’t worry, I’m not out to convert you.”

  “Good. It wouldn’t work anyway.”

  “But we’re going sailing tomorrow.”

  “Uh…”

  “We had a deal, remember? Sailing and a date. We’re doing this backward. I should have taken you out on the water before taking you to dinner. But tomorrow works. It’s supposed to be gorgeous weather with light winds. I’ll keep us away from the big swells and I promise not to chill your red wine. What do ya say?”

  I snickered at his earnest plea and reached out to tap his hand when he looked down at his plate. Zane caught my wrist neatly then he twisted his hold and threaded his fingers through mine. I swallowed hard when my smile faltered and my dick swelled against the zipper of my khakis. “I don’t know. It may be pretty outside, but it’s cold and I may end up losing my lunch over the side of the boat.”

  “You won’t get sick. I’ll make it good for you.”

  “I like the sound of that,” I purred.

  Zane leaned across the table with an intense expression and squeezed my fingers meaningfully. “This is the antithesis of smooth, but…God, I want to fuck you, Er.”

  My mouth went dry. I nodded then set my napkin on the table and stood.

  “Let’s go.”

  We speed-walked back to my house, dodging slower moving pedestrians at an almost comical pace. We were close enough to our destination that hiring a driver would have been ridiculous, but far enough away that each step revved our anticipation until it felt palpable. I was practically sweating through my coat and cashmere sweater in spite of the late November chill by the time I unlocked my front door.

  We didn’t kiss or pause to engage in any foreplay in the foyer. The words “I want to fuck you,” sounded in my head like a chant with a beat that became a pulse. My body was humming with pent up need and lust. It blurred my vision and made concentrating on mundane tasks like turning on lights or locking up a chore. Zane shooed me ahead and pointed toward the stairs.

  “Go. I’ll do it.”

  His deep, commanding tone was seriously swoon-worthy. I didn’t hesitate to obey or wonder what the fuck was going on with me. I was too strung out to worry or care that I was consumed from the inside out with every detail about this man. The way he walked with a swagger he’d perfected as a teenager. Or the way his eyes creased at the corners and twinkled with a contagious humor before he let out a hearty laugh.

  Zane was a confident, sexy man who’d worked hard to build a life on his terms. He wasn’t that poor kid from a wealthy town who’d honed a bad-boy surfer rep to shield himself from unflattering scrutiny. Nor was he the former athlete and college buddy with a quick wit and more street smarts than the rest of us combined. He’d grown and matured into a man who embraced every facet of himself, including his bisexuality. I was as dazzled by his strength of character as I was by his rugged beauty.

  When he paused in the doorway bare-chested with his belt undone and his hand on his zipper, I was rendered speechless. I didn’t know how we got here but damn, I wasn’t going to question my good luck.

  “Everything off,” he growled as he stepped inside the room.

  I nodded, making quick work of my shirt and sweater before pushing my khakis and briefs over my hips. My stiff prick pointed north, nudging my stomach when I sat on the edge of the king-size mattress and bent over to peel off my socks. When I lay back on the crisp cool sheets, Zane was at my side. He tugged at my hair and firmly guided me toward his impressive erection. I groaned at the first taste of his precum. I licked his slit then swirled my tongue over the wide mushroom head before sucking his length. I fondled his balls while I stroked myself, loving his soft sighs of pleasure above me.

  “Er, stop. Lie back, baby.”

  I blinked at the sound of his voice as I looked up at him. He didn’t give me a chance to think. He pushed at my shoulder and climbed over me, straddling my thighs. I bit my lip when he reached between us to stroke us together.

  “God, that feels good,” I said in a husky tone.

  “It feels amazing. I swear I could do this all night.”

  “Yeah, but…” I pointed toward the side table, hoping he’d catch on without too much discussion.

  “Got it.”

  Zane leaned over to open the drawer. He gave me a triumphant Cheshire cat grin and held a condom and lube like he’d struck gold. I snatched the lube from him and poured a generous amount on my palm then stroked myself with my right hand. Then I spread my legs wide and massaged my hole with the left.

  “Fuck, that’s sexy. Let me,” Zane whispered reverently.

  He rolled on the latex and knelt between my thighs. Then he slipped a finger alongside mine, gently moving in and out. I arched my back, hoping for more friction without having to beg for it. Zane pushed a second digit inside and smiled devilishly when I cried out.

  “More. Just…more,” I grunted.

  “No. I need you now. No more playing. Look at me, Eric.”

  My eyes snapped open. His expression was intense. Like he was asking me to take his hand before we jumped off a cliff together. Or perhaps he was telling me to trust him. I did. Emphatically. I reached between us and guided his cock toward my entrance then clutched his hips and pulled him forward.

  “Do it. I’m ready. I want you now.”

  Zane licked his bottom lip and finally pushed his way inside me. He moved slowly, stopping when I winced at his size. He infused every push with a sweetness that made my toes curl, pausing to kiss my forehead and nuzzle my jaw as he moved inside me. When he was fully buried inside with his balls resting on my ass, he leaned up on his elbows.

  “You good?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. Move. Please.”

  Zane closed his eyes as though trying to gather control. The bulging veins of his biceps and his clenched jaw told a bigger story. He was on edge, and I was right there with him. When the last twinge of discomfort faded, a wave of pure pleasure hit me hard. I slung my arms over his shoulders to draw him closer as he began to move.

  “It’s okay. I got you, baby.”

  I smiled at the sweet endearment. God, I loved this. I could honestly say I’d never been held by a lover this way. He looked like he wanted to fuck me senseless but was trying to figure out how to let me know it was because he cared about me. Or cherished me, even. Flowery romantic notions that in no way fit the Zane I thought I knew. Before I could chide myself for having an overactive imagination, he yanked my hair hard to get my attention and then surged forward.

  And so it began. A slow push and pull with deep kisses and low groans. I slid my hands over his shoulders and
down his spine to rest on his ass. I moved my fingers along his crack and lifted my legs higher still to give him more room to move. He took the change in angle as an invitation to up the tempo. My bed creaked to the steady sound of skin on skin. I braced my hands on the headboard when he pushed my thighs against my stomach and fucked into me with abandon. Sweat dripped from his brow onto mine as he drove into me over and over. I tried to reach for my painfully hard cock with one hand, but he was moving too fast now.

  “Zane please…I’m so close.”

  “What do you want, Er? You want my fingers in your ass?” He slowed a beat to press a single digit alongside his shaft then gripped my dick hard with the other. “Want me to jack you while I fuck your tight ho—”

  “Holy fuck! I’m gonna come.”

  Ropes of cum shot across my chest as my orgasm crashed over me. Every part of me tingled, from my scalp to my toes. I was trembling all over but I didn’t want to surrender to the feeling until he was there with me. I raked my nails along Zane’s back and smacked his ass, whispering dirty things I’d never said to any lover. He let go with a roar, bucking his hips into me until the final wave of pleasure passed.

  Our heavy breathing and the sound of my heartbeat ringing in my ears made speech difficult. Fine by me. That had easily been one of the best orgasms I’d ever experienced. When the fog cleared I had a feeling I might spin on things I shouldn’t. I wanted to stay here as long as possible.

  Zane carefully rolled off me then flopped on his back to stare at the ceiling. “Er?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Stop thinking and come here.”

  I furrowed my brow but scooted closer. “Come here where?”

  “Lie your head on my chest and just breathe. We’re fine, baby. There’s nothing to worry about.”

  I didn’t argue though I wasn’t sure he was right. Once again, I was falling hard for a friend. But this time, it felt like the real thing.

  Chapter 6

  The year melted away in the usual flurry of holiday parties and family gatherings. There was enough activity that no one noticed Zane and I had become more than friends. The people most likely to catch on had their own drama going on. Grant had a death in his family, Josh started screwing a trainer at his gym and Nick was back in marriage mode with Lisa. He’d told me our conversation made him realize he’d just had post-engagement butterflies. I didn’t know what he told her about me after the fact. He may have claimed he’d exaggerated or that he’d been kidding all along. I didn’t want to know. All I wanted was Zane.